Finding the right therapist
Hey all!
This first post is all about your first step towards therapy! I’ve said this many times and I will continue to preach it—therapy is all about finding the right fit. When I started my journey to becoming a therapist, I had the idea that therapists are few and far between; it’s such a noble career, wanting to help others through trying times. How many people really want to do that, to deal with people’s biggest problems for very little money? None of my friends or school peers were on the same trajectory as I was, and I fully believed that I’d be one of the few eager therapists bursting into the scene ready to make a difference. I was SO wrong.
Unfortunately for me (and a little bit for you too), the field of clinical psychology is saturated with therapists, new and old. That means I have lots and lots of competition [insert expletive here]. For you, that equals a lot of potential therapists to choose from, and that means time and effort. Yes, it is overwhelming to consider finding a therapist when there’s literally HUNDREDS of us just around the river bend (please excuse my Pocahontas reference, I just had to). But do yourself a favor—take your time.
Treat finding a therapist like finding a babysitter (or a dog sitter for all those dog parents out there). You wouldn’t just hire the first person you meet, right? You’d want to:
a) Make sure you like them. Liking is different than tolerating. If you’re leaving your kids, whether 2-legged or 4-legged, with said person, you’d want to ensure that they are good-hearted and likable. Follow the good vibes. If a therapist doesn’t give you good vibes then he/she is not for you, and that is OK.
b) Trust them. You wouldn’t put the safety and wellbeing of your kids with any rando off-the-street, am I right? Trust is undoubtably the biggest factor in feeling comfortable in a relationship, no matter the nature of it. You are trusting this person to see you at your most vulnerable, to be your advocate, and to support you through things you probably haven’t told your closest allies about. So, prioritize your safety; trust your gut to tell you whether you feel safe and at ease with a therapist versus nervous and unsure. If you walk out of a session not knowing whether you felt safe, then you did not and it’s time to interview someone else.
c) Scope out the digs. This gets overlooked a lot. The space of a therapy office is just as important as the actual therapist. Let’s go back to the baby/dog sitter analogy; when you’re dropping off your littles, you’d want to know that they will be a friendly, inviting, and fun environment. While a therapy office doesn’t need to be fun, per se, it definitely should be inviting with a friendly flare. Again we go back to that safe space concept. Make sure you feel safe and comfortable in the space you will be sharing for 50-minutes with the clinician. Some things I always consider are:
Photo by @taylorrmaaee
-Is the seating comfortable? Sometimes sitting for an hour can be hard so you want to ensure that the chairs or couch are comfortable for you.
-Is it clean? I once walked into a therapists office and was overwhelmed by the smell of mold. The pillows were old and worn and there were stains on the couch. Sitting there for 50-minutes was torture. If you are a clean freak like me, you’ll definitely want to look around and make sure the space is up to your standards.
-Is the lighting soothing for you? Light plays a huge role in the ambience of a room. If it’s jarringly bright or so dark that it makes you more depressed than when you walked in, you should make note of that.
-Can you see yourself sighing with relief when you enter it? It’s all about the vibes, vibes, vibes. For me, windows are a big selling point. I find natural light and views of the outdoors very soothing. The therapist I saw for over 10 years had an office right on a lake with a wall of windows. Even though the Seattle winter days were dark and dreary for the most part, her office always felt light and airy because of the massive windows and the view of a serene little lake. Another feature that helps soothe me in a room is the decor. I gravitate towards soft, neutral colors. If I was to enter a room filled with bright colors and bold patterns, I would definitely admire the aesthetic, but it wouldn’t necessarily feel calming to me. So I encourage you to pay attention to your surroundings!
I’m hopeful that you are now armed with the knowledge and the determination to find a good therapist for you. Don’t be discouraged if it takes many tries. Your efforts will be worth it when you are able to sit down in a safe space with a person that you genuinely like and respect.
A good way to get started is by going to www.psychologytoday.com and filtering your search for a therapist by location, specialty, and insurance.
Good luck on your search!
~Maya