8 Questions to consider asking your therapist

“If you have a therapist who agrees with your every word, then your brain isn't getting proper exercise.” - Beth Ditto

Hey guys! I’m en route to compiling tons of therapy-related topics that would be useful to share with you. Last week, we did a quick and dirty intro to step one of the therapy process in my first blog (take 5 and read it if you haven’t already!). Today I want to delve a bit deeper and provide you with some super useful questions that are great starting points when meeting a potential therapist.

I’m a big fan of writing lists—I find them therapeutic!— which you’ll probably figure out as we continue to do this blog thing together. Let’s break today’s topic down into two lists because there are usually two parts to the first meeting with a therapist.

Part 1: Phone Consultation. It is an industry standard for therapists to offer a 15-30 minute phone consultation with potential clients free of charge. This is purely my own opinion, so take it with a grain of salt—if a therapist does not offer you a free phone consultation, that therapist is not the one you should proceed with.

Quick fact: a free phone consultation isn’t just for your benefit, it’s for the benefit of the therapist too. Believe it or not, therapists can choose not to work with you for a variety of reasons, and while this might sound off-putting to you, it’s really crucial for your success as a client. A quick phone consultation offers the therapist insight into your presenting issues and your goals for treatment.

So what exactly should you aim to ask over the phone?

Phone Consultation Questions:

  1. Where is your office located? Office addresses and contact information are easily found on Google, but I’m always surprised at the number of clients I’ve seen for the first time who are completely unaware that they’d be traveling 30-40 minutes to get to the office. This is also good to ask because some therapists have multiple office locations that they rotate between.

  2. What are your rates and do you accept insurance? This is probably the first question that most people ask because it is SO IMPORTANT! There is no reason for you to break the bank for therapy. There are plenty of therapists who work with insurance companies, so ask whether they are contracted with your carrier. Some therapists also offer sliding scales which allows you to pay a more suitable fee if needed.

  3. What is parking like? Sounds odd to ask about but I have seen parking be a barrier to treatment for people. Consider whether there’s a parking lot vs. street parking and whether you’ll need to pay to park. If you park in a parking garage, is the ticket validated by the therapist’s office? It all adds up!

  4. What is your cancellation policy? Like any other personal service provider, a therapist will usually have a clear appointment cancellation policy in place. These do differ from therapist to therapist, though, so figure out what you are comfortable agreeing to. Some therapists might offer 1 free cancellation/missed appointment with charged cancellations moving forward. Some therapists might charge you an entire session if you miss or cancel within 24-hours while others might charge 75%. In private practice, there is no universal cancellation or missed-appointment policy, so be curious about what you’ll be responsible for.

If you and the therapist feel good about working together, you’ll usually schedule your first appointment at the end of the phone conversation.

Part 2: Initial Session. When you meet for the first time, remember that you still have the power to assess how you feel about the therapist and their office space. I always like it when first-time clients ask questions about the process when we initially meet because I know my answers will offer them more clarity and confidence in my work as a therapist. In order for us to do our best job, we need clients to feel safe in our presence and open to being vulnerable in the space. So what can you ask to feel more confident in your choice of therapist?

Initial Session Questions:

  1. What are your limits of confidentiality? Confidentiality is the holy grail of therapy and most people know that. What most people do not know, however, is that therapists are mandated reporters, which means we are required by law to breach confidentiality in certain cases. The limits of confidentiality should always be outlined in the paper-work that you sign before starting treatment, but I’m a big fan of encouraging clients to ask the therapist to review it verbally as well.

  2. What if we don’t agree about somethings? Guys—do NOT be afraid to challenge your therapist, and don’t be afraid if a therapist challenges you. Therapy isn’t about us (therapists) giving you (clients) advice to follow to the T. Therapy is about exchanged dialogue and problem solving. If you don’t think the exact same way your therapist does, that’s a perfect chance to dissect things, to learn about each other, and to understand what drives the difference of opinions. Exciting, right?

  3. What’s the best way to communicate with you going forward? Whether you need to schedule an appointment, ask for a referral, or reach out for any other reason, it’s a great idea to ask the therapist what the best mode of communication is for them. When I’m with a client, I won’t be answering my phone, so I always say the best way to reach me is by email. My old therapist preferred text messages. Knowing their preferred method of contact will help eliminate any delayed or missed communication.

  4. What will termination with you look like? It’s super common to not consider ending therapy before you even start, but asking about the termination process with a therapist can give you really good insight into their practice. The gold standard for therapists is characterized community and advocacy; it’s important for therapists to have a roster of other mental health professionals to refer new, old, and existing clients to, whether for consultation or for continued therapy. For a variety of reasons, you and your therapist might decide that it would suit your treatment goals best to be referred out. In that case, you want to feel confident that the therapist has a trust-worthy community of resources and that they will advocate for you as needed. If termination with the therapist comes about naturally after you feel you’ve received the services you needed, it’s good to ask what getting back onto their calendars would entail of, in case something comes up and you want to snag a weekly spot on their schedule again.

If you have any questions about my questions, ask away!

~Maya